It appears that Geoff Diehl’s political career is over. (Nancy Lane/Boston Herald, archive)
You won’t have Geoff “DoorDash” Diehl to play with anymore.
That’s right, the perennial loser of Massachusetts politics, the caporegime of the state Republican Party’s defeated Kool Aid Kult, will not desperately seek office again in 2024.
You know what I’ll miss most about DoorDash’s reluctant decision not to get trampled this year?
His concession speech.
See, DoorDash has unparalleled experience giving concession speeches, because no one loses more political races than Diehl.
Each time he comes out of the box, he is defeated more resoundingly than the previous time.
From state Senate in 2015, to U.S. Senate in 2018, to governor in 2022 — each Diehl campaign is less serious, more pathetic than the last.
Geoff Diehl – a sheep in sheep’s clothing.
But just a few weeks ago, on March 18, DoorDash was promoting a new scam campaign.
He sent a demeaning email to that dwindling group of idiots who still believe he’s a serious human being.
It was mainly a plea to send him money to pay off debts from the catastrophic 2022 gubernatorial campaign, during which he earned his second nickname – “Deadbeat”.
But after begging for funds to pay off his 2022 debts, this was Deadbeat’s final paragraph:
“I am also considering running for State Senate to work on the difficult issues facing the Commonwealth right now. Stay tuned for more information related to this potential campaign.”
Uh, never mind!
The deadline to get on the fall ballot was April 30. DoorDash has not recorded any subscriptions. All he needed was 150.
Okay, we can all understand why he wouldn’t want to absorb another spanking. But why launch another attack on your loyal idiots?
I called DoorDash yesterday to ask him about this bait-and-switch operation, but he didn’t get back to me.
For years, DoorDash was the leader of the Kool Aid Kult. That was the team led by Jim “Jones” Lyons, who as party chairman almost single-handedly destroyed the state Republican Party in 2019-23.
The money man behind Kool Aid Kult is Rick Green, who made his fortune selling auto parts. Green filled his company’s payroll with a bunch of crooked GOP losers, including Diehl, who previously worked as an Uber driver (4.93 rating!).
Diehl, Lyons and Green – the Kool Aid Kult. They call everyone RINO. They are Trump diehards.
Odd, because Diehl admitted to voting Democrat to vote for Joe Biden in the 2008 presidential primaries. Lyons was a true Democratic candidate for the Legislature from Arlington in 1982, when Reagan was president.
And Green has never been a Trump fanatic, supporting John Kasich in 2016 before switching to Ron DeSantis this year.
Almost no one responded to Diehl’s fundraising appeal. Just like the number of votes he gets, Diehl raises less and less money with each proposal to the hillbillies. Since his March 18 request for money, Diehl has raised just $660 in individual contributions, according to OCPF records.
One local hillbilly who hands Diehl $100 every month is Russell Morris of Gloucester. He was so close to Diehl’s 2022 campaign manager, Amanda Orlando.
Morris gave Diehl $100 on April 10, after duking him with $100 on March 8.
It’s not a lot of money, but Morris still has heavy expenses. According to the Essex County District Attorney, his criminal trial in Salem Superior Court is scheduled to begin on October 7th.
Diehl’s most ardent supporter is accused of, among other heinous crimes, rape of a child with force and indecent assault and battery on a child under 14.
DoorDash was photographed on social media with this guy and Amando Orlando. It’s easy to see why an accused pedophile would support Diehl — in 2021, DoorDash ran on the platform of restoring “our core Christian values.”
What will Diehl do now with all this time on his hands? Well, maybe he can prepare to testify at the upcoming civil trial about the hundreds of thousands of dollars remaining in unpaid bills from his last calamitous campaign in 2022. He just received a subpoena last week.
The MassGOP, under not-insane new management, is being sued for more than $400,000 by a vendor who claims the party owes him for his, uh, services.
As just one example of how wisely this money was spent, according to the seller’s civil complaint, Diehl’s campaign received a bill for $12,500 for the “production” of four radio spots.
Take it from someone who knows: $3,125 to “produce” a single radio commercial is very, very expensive.
But then, Diehl was an easy target. He’s an idiot. Look how many Democrats have unseated him over the years.
In saying they are not responsible for Diehl’s absurd campaign bills, the state Republican Party points out that many of the ads in question “were placed on behalf of Geoff Diehl’s campaign.”
But now Deadbeat Diehl says, in effect, “Who, me? Why should I be held responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of ads placed in my name?”
When trying to escape advertising buys made for him, Diehl complained in his appeal for money: “No member of the Diehl Committee nor the Committee itself has been named as a defendant in these proceedings.”
That’s because you can’t get blood from a stone. Or an Uber driver.
Now that it’s out of the 2024 election cycle, how will DoorDash spend its time other than trying to dodge its creditors?
He feels sorry for the other idiots about how they’re not to blame and how they were framed…by RINO.
Do Kool Aid Kultists Remember Their Big Scores in COVID Social Welfare Sweepstakes?
Diehl’s wife had $12,723 “forgiven” for her small – very small – business. Jim “Jones” Lyons did even better – $21,446 in the first round of donations, another $27,436 in the second round.
At least DoorDash and Jim Jones just pocketed the money and laughed the whole way to the bank.
Another founding member of Kult, former senator. Dean Tran has been indicted by the feds, accused of stealing $30,120 in COVID “unemployment” payments while employed.
Did I mention that the Kool Aid Kult is very angry about welfare abuse in the US?
So DoorDash Diehl is not working this year. The idiots are sad, because as horrible as cartoonist Kult’s other characters are, DoorDash was even more of a buffoon than most. Your campaigns are always a mess.
But look on the bright side – Diehl will be tanned, rested and ready for 2026.
I bet he’s already working on his next concession speech.
(Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.com.)
